My heart hurts...

Hey Everyone!

So, I'll explain what's been going on in my life. So far, as I've mentioned before, my mom knows about my boyfriend. Soon after that (on Monday), he told his parents. His parents were okay with it. I'm surprised that they did not know all this time! Even my mom had some sort of idea. Anyways, they seemed okay with it, I think they trust their son's judgement. But, here's the catch, my mom told my dad on Tuesday, and he was not as pleased as the rest! First of all, he does not even want to hear anything about my boyfriend, because he is not from the same place as me. What he wants now is for me to become something for myself, and then he said I can do whatever I want. Basically, he wants me to be independent, and in case anything happens in the future, I can fall back on myself, and not have to be totally broken! I totally agree with him, in regards to holding off marriage till we've both finished our graduate programs and enter the job-world. My boyfriend has to prove to my parents that he can take care of me financially, especially since I'll probably be in school much longer than him. But, here's the "heart hurting" part. My dad was very disappointed in me. My dad was really hurt because he always believed in me. He thought that no matter what others' kids do (like relationships and such), I am different! He thought that after I graduated (next year) from undergrad, he would pick the best of the crop for me (10) and line them up for me and I'd choose whoever I wanted. I feel so bad now! My heart starts hurting whenever I think about how my dad must feel. I think I've totally betrayed him! He is in disbelief at the fact that it has been 6 years! Currently, he is indifferent to the situation, and just told us to live our lives out the way we have been. Just ordinary. He is not interested in meeting my boyfriend right now, nor is he interested in discussing this matter further. I think it will take him some time before he gets used to this idea. I suppose we prepared oursevles for this, since we do still have one year before graduation, but, I really thought after seeing the reactions of the other 3 parents, I was hopeful my dad may react the same way! But, my heart still hurts because I really feel like I've hurt my dad a lot. He had a lot of trust in me, and now I've totally changed his prospective of me. Recently, he's just been ignoring contact with me, and so I've been giving him his space, but I still feel terrible! I hope we'll go back to normal someday! I also hope, someday he'll grow to love my boyfriend as much as I do! That's all.

I'm off,

- B